First of all I love you. I mean, I love you’re videos. They’re helpful, informative *you’re yummy* and creative.
Secondly, I’ve been a fan of yours for years. Well, two years. This year and last year. Mainly the end of last year. Beginning of this … look, we can all do simple math. Fact is, I’m a fan.
The relationship limbo video? Fantastical. Your flirting, texting and other advice? Merci. Your Sunday videos. I watch those in my pjs. A sexy visual, I’m sure.
However, to my shock and horror, I saw this on your Instagram feed.
Closure? You don’t want people to find closure? People everywhere are walking around with broken hearts, and you’re telling them they don’t need closure? Dripping from their wounds. Dying on the inside. Crying. Not leaving the house for weeks, months. And you’re saying, closure? Meh.
Hell, yes, people should seek closure. And seek it like a bloodhound running after a thief who robbed a blood bank.
When a person has closure, the relationship is complete. A full circle. And not all relationships are black and white. Sometimes there’s a grey area. Sometimes a breakup had nothing to do with the other person. Even those, “I’m just not into you,” endings deserve an explanation. Otherwise, we think, “Well, shit, I guess they weren’t into me,” when maybe they weren’t ready for a relationship.
People are messing up relationships six-ways to Wednesday, and I believe it’s due to a lack of closure. When people relationship-hop without closure, they run the risk of destroying relationships that follow. Countless partnerships die, and no one realizes with a healthy dose of closure, those relationships could’ve been saved.
Closure is healing. You learn what went wrong. You learn how to avoid future mistakes. If you were responsible for them. You learn more about yourself, and the other person. It’s about strengthening a connection, rather than writing a person off because you didn’t mesh.
I say, seek closure. Even years down the line. Chase the person down. Haunt them in their dreams. Stalk them online. Show up at their workplace.
Kidding aside, a person needs closure, Matthew.
Both parties need to be open and honest about what went down. Closure can be a tough toffee to chew. We avoid closure because we’ve been taught it’s not necessary. Move on with your life, leave it in the past, dust off your hands and carry on with a scarred heart.
Most people never find closure before moving on. Which is called bullshit closure. We simply say, meh, and we skip into the sunset with our next partner. And that’s not fair to either party.
We all deserve closure, Matthew.
And it’s out there, and we need to seek it out. Whether you agree, or not.
See you next Sunday.