Call it moonlight intoxication.
Or starlight insanity. Regardless, it was a brief twilight moment. I thought I wanted you back in this crazy journey. My mess. My self-created chaos.
Until this morning.
I realize it was foolish. Too much time had fallen through the hourglass. You can smash the glass. Catch the sand. But those granules pass through your fingers while seconds, minutes and hours dissipate. Time filled with mistrust. Deception. Dishonesty. Don’t let the sand cut your fingers.
I’m making you leave. For real. For good. Again. I’m sorry.
Where did you go? That juvenile spirit. That foolish grin. It’s mature. But it’s not happy. It’s forced. Fake. Those bright Kananaskis Lake eyes. Dim, murky and sad. Hidden by too many secrets. Too many lies.
We’re tired of the fight, aren’t we? But don’t think I won’t miss you. It kills me that you’re gone. Again.
If I say I’m okay, it’s a lie. A decaffeinated coffee; rainbow after the rain; “Wake Me Up When September Ends” lie. Because I like decaf. I hate rainbows. And the pain won’t end after September.
I opened the door. And you entered my life. I wept the first time you left. Now, I’m void of emotion.
But when that door first opened, I didn’t listen. I was out of control. And the damage was done. You, my dear, were done.
Maybe I thought there was a chance for redemption. And I could fix this. Krazy Glue the broken pieces. Utilize the duct tape. Something.
But sometimes you run out of sorries and apologies. And you use up those fragile second chances. And you have no choice but to close the book.
I gave you a night in September.
But I never imagined the morning would end so soon.