Seven months ago, Adele slayed the world.
On October 23, 2015 – the British songstress released the monster hit “Hello,” and people lost their minds. Literally.
There were tears and sobs. Mountains of tissue. Sick days taken over rebroken hearts. People remembered lost loves – pouring over photos, yearbooks and recalled stories from yesteryear.
I’ll admit, Adele’s song hit me hard. I popped the “Hello” video into its own YouTube playlist, and then downloaded the song asap. The song echoed in my house for over a week. In fact, it’s on repeat as I write this blog.
According to the Daily Mail, a study by the dating site WhatsYourPrice.com revealed Adele’s song prompted 64 per cent of women to contact an ex in an “attempt to make amends and get back together.” However, only 17 per cent of men cared to “go over everything.”
While I’m not on WYP, I contacted an ex. However, not in an attempt to reconcile. I wanted to explain – the long explanation – but instead I wished him happiness.
Imagine, though, a song so powerful that it prompted 81 per cent of a dating site to reach out.
But what about those not on WYP?
I’m sure the heart wrenching ballad resulted in many late night texts. Pining Facebook posts and tweets, and passionate Reddit love letters. Begging for the return of lost loves. Or five minutes to explain. Just to say they’re sorry for breaking the other person’s heart.
But the WhatsYourPrice study didn’t clarify if they asked anything besides, “Did you reach out to an ex? Check ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ ”
What about: “When did you last speak?” and “When did you breakup?” And most important – the how and why?
The “why” and “how.” Because no one shrugs and says, “Yeah, Liam and I broke up. Pass the butter.” Because people want details. The dirt. The cause of the trainwreck. And who derailed the train?
I believe there are three kinds of exes: the receptive, distant and the non-receptive.
The receptive ex is one whom you’ll maintain a lasting friendship with – once you’ve mended fences. You’ll acknowledge you make better friends than a couple and forge a strong bond. While Adele livened a memory or two from your time together, neither will care to relive the moment and jeopardize the friendship.
The distant ex will ignore you. They’ll walk down a different street. Take another road. Dodge. Run. Skip. Jump. All in an effort to avoid you. Because it wasn’t mutual. But it was over.
And the non-receptive ex. This ex had their heart slaughtered. Left broken, defeated and abandoned without so much as a truthful explanation. Often, this is the ex who promised to stand by you. Care for you in a time of need. And without warning, you turned bat-shit crazy on them.
And if Adele prompted you to contact the non-receptive ex – and you caused the hurt – good luck. Because I doubt they want so much as a Facebook poke from you.